Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
