I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
