She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
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i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
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Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
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