I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
