Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
