Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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