i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Randomize