i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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