I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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