Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
