I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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