Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
