from now on my penis is your penis
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
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Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
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We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
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