dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
if only i could text you this smell
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
