...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
