New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize
