I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
