the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
