He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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