Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
