Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
