i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize