You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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