Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
