brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
