she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
