Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I need to sanitize my soul.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
