We won't sleep together?
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
