During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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