I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
