I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
pop tarts are not kleenex
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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