just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
