I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
