I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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