i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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