Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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