it was like having sex with a tree stump
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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