I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
