Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
