I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I can feel your judgement through the phone
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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