maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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