You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
