I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
please don't ironically join a cult
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