I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
