I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
