Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
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