its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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