Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
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