sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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