Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
