you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Everclear isn't food dammit
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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