just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize