cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
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