I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
