Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
