Texts From Last Night

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  (404): View more from Georgia

  hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??

  (1-404): View more from Georgia

  no.

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  (404): hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer?? (1-404): no. http://tfl.nu/c4dk
  Replies (21) Good night (6542) Bad night (843)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table

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  (330): It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table http://tfl.nu/2wbi
  Replies (24) Good night (1101) Bad night (3998)
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  (909): View more from California

  ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination

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  (909): ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination http://tfl.nu/afca
  Replies (156) Good night (990) Bad night (22872)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no

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  (678): Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no http://tfl.nu/k1du
  Replies (1) Good night (3450) Bad night (1013)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"

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  (613): And then she banged "the first Italian rapper" http://tfl.nu/oswg
  Replies (7) Good night (959) Bad night (2314)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.

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  (407): I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila. http://tfl.nu/7js5
  Replies (9) Good night (3085) Bad night (1110)
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  (+75): View more from

  It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more

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  (+75): It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more http://tfl.nu/60s4
  Replies (11) Good night (782) Bad night (2213)
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  (585): View more from New York

  you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser

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  (585): you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser http://tfl.nu/abu5
  Replies (5) Good night (2249) Bad night (890)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.

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  (207): Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level. http://tfl.nu/8m2b
  Replies (3) Good night (2418) Bad night (727)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!

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  (678): Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?! http://tfl.nu/sa9o
  Replies (10) Good night (2225) Bad night (746)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.

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  (850): After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up. http://tfl.nu/jmm0
  Replies (0) Good night (744) Bad night (403)
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  (415): View more from California

  I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.

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  (415): I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy. http://tfl.nu/udyo
  Replies (6) Good night (1474) Bad night (872)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.

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  (201): In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me. http://tfl.nu/k6g0
  Replies (1) Good night (373) Bad night (621)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives

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  (215): I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives http://tfl.nu/psy5
  Replies (4) Good night (417) Bad night (601)
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  (805): View more from California

  We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...

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  (805): We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians... http://tfl.nu/wh6c
  Replies (1) Good night (816) Bad night (342)

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