I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.