I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.