I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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