Texts From Last Night

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  (912): View more from Georgia

  your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"

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  (912): your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?" http://tfl.nu/ccfy
  Replies (18) Good night (1057) Bad night (3839)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.

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  (973): she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery. http://tfl.nu/316x
  Replies (36) Good night (7459) Bad night (1007)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid

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  (443): He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid http://tfl.nu/u0xl
  Replies (18) Good night (3281) Bad night (1108)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS

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  (647): I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS http://tfl.nu/1k5d
  Replies (35) Good night (8223) Bad night (1130)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.

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  (713): He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop. http://tfl.nu/xdpv
  Replies (19) Good night (6084) Bad night (831)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.

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  (617): gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist. http://tfl.nu/2uj6
  Replies (35) Good night (1246) Bad night (4434)
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  (408): View more from California

  He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina

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  (408): He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina http://tfl.nu/ro7i
  Replies (27) Good night (978) Bad night (8741)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.

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  (248): Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated. http://tfl.nu/1crf
  Replies (21) Good night (2085) Bad night (2972)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart

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  (484): judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart http://tfl.nu/l5ge
  Replies (2) Good night (2306) Bad night (798)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad

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  (203): The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad http://tfl.nu/q1tx
  Replies (16) Good night (3224) Bad night (909)
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  (518): View more from New York

  He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.

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  (518): He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong. http://tfl.nu/r133
  Replies (2) Good night (1278) Bad night (676)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.

  (410): View more from Maryland

  The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.

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  (443): Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good. (410): The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky. http://tfl.nu/y3f5
  Replies (10) Good night (900) Bad night (2006)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl

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  (314): He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl (201): I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl http://tfl.nu/d4hf
  Replies (4) Good night (1198) Bad night (395)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you

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  (517): To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you http://tfl.nu/rkbn
  Replies (11) Good night (2030) Bad night (422)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.

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  (570): It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk. http://tfl.nu/rmsw
  Replies (4) Good night (593) Bad night (379)

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