thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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