come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize