You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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