I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
