a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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