Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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