my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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