we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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