just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
