Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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