Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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