Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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