i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
